I think we all thought Grandma would live forever. No, really...we've all said it. She has physically proven otherwise. And, now we are coping with that fact.
We all have special people in our lives. And even though we live in such a fast-paced world, I hope we take some time out to think of those people that have come and gone in our lives. If even for only a short time. Even if it is smiling to someone that's a stranger - it's really a wonder what that can do to someone. Or a hello or good morning as you run around the neighborhood.
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| Grandma is on the left and her sister Evelyn is on the right. |
Back to Mary: She was the only grandparent I really remember meeting. And, people say I look exactly like she did...which when she was around 90, I wasn't so sure...but the picture to the left shows where my dimples come from.
Mary was quite the woman. She was once a child like we all have been. A daughter, sister, wife, mother, widow, single mother, single working mother raising three children, parent that lost a child, grandmother, great grandmother and survivor of all the things life can throw at a person.
She was eight years older than her husband (Go Grandma! Back then, that was pretty unheard of) and bore three children. She accompanied her husband to positions in Holland, Greece and Washington, D.C. You think traveling sucks these days? Try thinking of what it was like when technology as we know it was still in its infancy. They were excited to just have a hamburger and an Elvis film, let alone all of the luxuries we are all accustomed to today. Then add three children on to that. I've seen family movies of those three. She was an angel.
When the centennial of Grand Central Terminal was recently celebrated, I thought, "wow, Grandma was born before it opened!" That was so many different, distinct eras! I know it sounds obvious but ...just think about all that took place in our world from 1911-2013...she saw it all.
She lost her husband in 1960 and never remarried. I honestly don't think she ever dated. That also meant she needed to provide for her family - which she did - for 25 years at The Columbia University Hospital for Women in Washington, D.C.
She also raised a great man - my father. She saw him sent off to Vietnam not ever knowing if he was returning. Thank God he did. She taught him to be a very kind, giving person that has given a lot to his country and to his own family. I will never be able to show my full appreciation for it but I will definitely try.
She never learned to drive. God bless her. She still made it to Catholic Mass, the A&P and to get her hair and nails done.
I was so lucky to get to visit her starting at the age of 7 as my parents let me fly up to New Jersey by myself. Some of my happiest memories are being in New Jersey - it's not that bad, y'all. I still yearn for the trees and streets of Franklin Lakes and Wyckoff. Running down the railroad tracks and away from rabid dogs thinking that my last days would also be spent in NJ.
She taught me what the New York Times was and how to do crosswords. She also introduced me to the National Enquirer. The lady read EVERYthing. She always knew what was going on in the world, too.
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I will never forget her thick New York accent. We would always imitate her by saying, "Would you like some chawwwcolate chips?" She made some killer chocolate chip cookies and macaroni & cheese.
In 3rd grade, I changed my name to be similar to hers. First it was Mary Anne and then it somehow became Mary Elizabeth but I just wanted to have two names that went together like hers.
She taught me to love Nantucket...I was fortunate to get to travel with her when I was 11. The woman was in her 80s and taking two preteens to Nantucket!!! I got to meet her sister, Alberta, see the family home in Beckett, MA, and just really get to know the woman that made this family succeed. I interviewed her, too. She held all of the family history.
She taught me how to love your family and those close to you. She grew up in a time where they didn't express their feelings or say things like, "I love you" as much as I think it should be said. I made it a point, even when she could barely hear, to proclaim it. I always wanted her to know that I love her. I know she felt loved and I'm grateful to my aunt and cousins that have been in La Jolla with her. Thank you, thank you. As time went on and she caught onto my "I love yous," she would say it at the end of the conversation. The last time I talked to her, she said it.
She came to visit us in Houston many times. When asked if she wanted any wine and she said, "No," we would always just say - "Grandma, no means yes!" And she obliged.
She introduced La Jolla, California to me. I'm so glad that was where she spent her final years. She had family there and it is a beautiful place to visit. I'm so glad I took time to go. I wish I had taken more time...isn't that what they say is one of the biggest regrets of the dying? Maybe time to re-evaluate.
Rest in peace, Mary. You were quite the woman and teacher and I will never forget you nor stop learning from you.
